What No One Talks About in the Quest to Become Unstoppable

How do you cope, and who do you turn to when your world around you begins to crumble?

Do you trust yourself and the people close to you to stay grounded and to hold firm in a crisis? Or do you secretly worry that sooner or later, the chances are you’ll find yourself in some serious ‘doo-doo’, down a deep and dark hole, with no obvious way to clamber out? 

I get that you probably try not to think about it, but chances are you’re aware that fearful thinking is always there, nagging away.

Trust is a Big Word for Just Five Letters

The truth is:

When you don’t fully trust that you can calmly and effectively handle whatever happens in your life, whether in your relationship or career, there will always be a gap for anxiety to seep in and take hold.

Why?  

Because the survival mechanism within you (your unconscious mind) is always working in the background, benevolently, trying to save you from danger. 

Beneath the façade of your seemingly successful life, it KNOWS you are wobbly, despite your best efforts to keep it hidden (from yourself, your boss, your peers and everyone else). Your unconscious mind is afraid for you.

Enter Anxiety

Anxiety keeps you on alert. It predisposes you to freeze, to fight or to run, if the worst actually happens and chaos descends in the way you secretly fear it might.

I used to try hard to ignore such uneasiness and just get on with my day – do you do the same? 

It worked to a point, but the problem was that I was surviving on adrenaline and cortisol, which, over time, can become toxic and damaging. Disturbed sleep is often an early sign of adrenal fatigue and possible burnout.

Perhaps you feel undeserving of the blessings in your life.

Maybe you think that good times can’t last.

Or you don’t really believe you’re smart enough or lovable enough to sustain a happy and successful life long-term.

I used to feel all of these things myself.

I remember a song that my daughter used to sing as a child at school:

“The wise man built his house upon rock”. Do you know it?

It goes on to say, “The foolish man built his house upon the sand and the walls came tumbling down.”

.... It is a wise song with a powerful message to sow into young minds. It sparked a light-bulb moment for me when I first heard and made sense of it.

The song teaches us that it is risky to put all our energy into building a successful life, relationship or career when hidden underneath are shaky foundations of unhealed past emotional trauma. 

Left buried, the residual emotional wounding quietly and insidiously continues to infiltrate every aspect of your life.  

Psychoneuroimmunology shows evidence that these unhealed emotional wounds weaken every cell in your body and mind, and understandably, over time, can impact your emotional and physical wellbeing.

I’m so sorry this is hard to hear - sooner or later life WILL do its worst and your deep-rooted self-doubt and questioning of yourself will lead you to struggle and eventually tumble... 

But There is Another Way

When you take action to strengthen your foundations, you proactively safeguard yourself and your life.

When you deeply trust yourself, underpinned by a strong and proven self-belief in your ability to handle whatever comes your way, you become resilient beyond measure - and there’s no place for anxiety.

Superficial talking therapy tends to be the ‘go-to’ for anxiety help these days, possibly because it feels safest and the most comfortable to stay on the surface. Talking things through can be a useful sounding board if that’s all you need.

The majority of the smart and successful professional and businesswomen who find their way to me feel disillusioned and daunted by superficial talking therapies.  They see therapy as a waste of time, and worse, they often blame themselves because therapy didn’t work for them.

I’ve heard too many times how my wonderful clients have been told that they themselves were the problem – too unpleasant, too resistant, too close-minded – these women reached out for help with shaky foundations of low self-esteem and with adult walls crumbling. 

Their experience of therapy left them feeling hopeless and powerless. Perhaps you can relate to this through your own experience?  It’s hard to fathom, isn’t it! 

Thank goodness, they didn’t give up.

The reality is, these gorgeous women simply hadn’t found the right help to create strong foundations that can stand the test of time. 

Coming safely ‘under my wing’, my clients are consistently relieved and amazed to get Actual Proper Help from my unique mentoring, in a way that is dynamic, collaborative and directed. It makes the real difference they thought they’d never find - one that turns those shaky foundations into strong ones.

When you think of maxing out your life, do you see yourself thriving courageously and confidently, feeling happy, safe and free?

Does it feel possible for you?

You might like to take some time to reflect on whether your house is built on rock or sand.  

If you’d like my help to underpin a shaky foundation, I’d love to hear from you, so do get in touch today – and let’s talk through your options.

Warmly as ever,

Lisa x

Lisa Skeffington is a multi-award-winning consultant psychotherapist and self-esteem expert. She is the Founder of the Empowered Momentum Community, an exclusive membership for ambitious midlife women, and her latest book, ‘From Anxious to Empowered Momentum’, is out now.