How to Get Over Feeling Conflicted With What you Really Want
Here’s how…
Working dynamically with a lovely client Melissa, I asked her…
‘What’s important to you in that future time and what matters most?’
Her answer surprised her.
A question asked at the right time often does. A huge shift in perspective follows…
The answer that bubbles up from your deeper consciousness is often not what you expect.
Like many of my other clients, might you too be kidding yourself about what you think matters when in fact it might actually be the opposite?
Do you ever hear…
“Stop complaining…You’re already so lucky and you have so much to be grateful for.”
Whose voice is it?
Someone you look up to, or is it your voice self-deprecating? Or perhaps someone’s voice from your past?
Ask yourself, is this judging voice keeping you from feeling truly happy and fulfilled in your life? Anxiety is bound to surface sooner or later…
If you want to be happy and free…
You must first be honest with yourself.
Let me share an example:
My lovely client Melissa commented how she didn’t want to give up her ski holidays in Colorado – who would?!
Yet she didn’t feel loved in her marriage; her self-respect was on the floor and she felt afraid. She knew deep down that it was time to make a change but it had seemed ‘easier’ to ignore it.
With support she began to accept that she was putting up with a wholly unacceptable and intensely abusive situation simply because of her ‘comfortable’ lifestyle preferences.
Hear this:
Anxiety signals there is conflict… every time.
Your priorities and what matters most in your heart, must be in alignment for you to feel truly happy.
Anxiety is always about a conflict between the head and the heart – the ‘push me, pull me’ keeps you stuck in a place you secretly yearn to break free from – whether you accept it yet, or not!
Women especially often get caught up in the ‘shoulda-woulda-coulda’ of life only to then end up feeling flat and unhappy with their lot. I’ve lost count of the number of times a client has said to me – “I know I should be happy but I’m not and I feel so guilty and so terrible that I’m so dissatisfied. I don’t why!”
Today is the day you can decide to be one of these women no longer.
From my heart to yours, is it perhaps time for you to get real? Time to be brave? And time to face the truth?
Will you give it some thought?
It may be that what mattered most to you once, is not the same as what truly matters most to you today. You owe it to yourself to live a happy and authentic life, free from anxiety. Book in when you're ready and let's have a chat.
I’m here for you. I hope this helps you.
Warmly,
Lisa x
Lisa Skeffington is a multi-award-winning consultant psychotherapist and self-esteem expert. She is the Founder of the Empowered Momentum Community, an exclusive membership for ambitious midlife women, and her latest book, ‘From Anxious to Empowered’, is out now.